I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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