I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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