I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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