we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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