I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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