Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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