i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
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