in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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