There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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