He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
