Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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