im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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