your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
