definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
