Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
