nut hugger
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you told grandpa to call you daddy
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
