Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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