Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
