But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
