wat bout pragnant strippers??
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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