watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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