listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize