I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
How's work?
Spinning.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize