I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize