Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
