I haven't been this sober since birth.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
