Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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