everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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