i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
