Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Everclear isn't food dammit
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
