i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
