Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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