if you like me you must not know who I am
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
