Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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