Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
