ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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