Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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