wat bout pragnant strippers??
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
