drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
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Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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