then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
