if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
