I am in a vortex of obligation.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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