never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
