Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm too high and old for this...
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize