omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
