Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
