just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
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Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
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I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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