You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize