Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize