There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
