yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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