So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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