That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
