I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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