On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize