No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
