Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
