Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
