12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize