the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
