so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
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He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
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The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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