i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
