How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Bring me that man meat
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
