I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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